How to Survive in Ministry for the Long Haul

In August 2022 my wife and I stepped down from our roll as senior pastors of an amazing congregation we had led for over 36 years. When we started this journey in 1986 we had a desire to build something that would outlive us. At that time the norm in our ministry world was pastors moving every four to five years—often seeking a bigger church with better benefits.

My wife was a pastor’s kid and she had never lived in the same city for more than two years her entire life. Her dad would build churches up and then moved on to a new city for another church. 

Our desire was to invest in something that would give us the opportunity to have maximum impact on our community and our world. Throughout this journey we discovered several things about ourselves and what it takes to survive in ministry for the long haul. During our time we saw several churches planted that sprung up with quick success and fanfare—only to flame out over time for one reason or another. 

“I found that people will forgive your head mistakes if your heart is right.”

To be honest we have to admit we didn’t do everything right, but God’s mercy and grace kept making up for our mistakes. I found that people will forgive your head mistakes if your heart is right. That brings me to my first issue that I think is the most crucial of all in surviving the long haul in ministry—CHARACTER.

The foundation of our ministry is character—it takes a lifetime to build and ten seconds to destroy. As I look back there were some moments of close calls when a split-second decision spared me from a really stupid choice that could have destroyed my character and reputation. 

Early in my ministry a wise man taught me that GIFTEDNESS will get you in the door, but CHARACTER will keep you there! In my forty plus years of ministry I’ve seen a lot of people more gifted than me but through choices they made their effectiveness was diminished because of a lack of character.

In the Old Testament I think of Samson who was gifted by God to be a strong and mighty judge for the nation, but his character was too weak to support his gift. Instead of becoming a national hero he became a joke of his enemies. (In the end he repented and had a great victory but died in the process—what could have been if his character could have supported his giftedness?)

Some quick practical thoughts on building our character. I believe we need four things to grow character in our lives—the Word of God, Spirit of God, Family of God, and Struggles.

“God’s Word must be more than a resource for sermons.”

God’s Word must be more than a resource for sermons. The Word of God must be our daily bread. We must have a habit of exposing our mind to God’s Word on a daily basis to hear what God is saying to us—not just what God wants to say through us.

We must connect with God daily through times of prayer and intercession. These times are when we learn to listen to the Spirit of God. Developing spiritual ears to discern the mind of God in every situation of life. 

Then there is the importance of the Family of God. We need other believers in our life that love us and are close enough to us to point out the blind spots in our lives. Too many ministers insulate themselves from people that can keep us accountable. We are stronger together and need others to build our character.

“We develop patience when the problems seem about to swallow us.”

Finally, we must admit it is through the Struggles of life that our character really grows. In our western culture we work hard to avoid struggles. But God allows us to go through the struggles to perfect His image in our lives. The character traits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, meekness, faithfulness, and self-control are only developed through the struggles of life. We don’t become patient simply by reading our Bible or praying. We develop patience when the problems seem about to swallow us. 

My favorite illustration of the importance of struggles is the Biodome that was developed years ago in Arizona to study plant life. Some scientist developed what they considered the perfect environment with controlled light, soil, temperature, and moisture. The plants and trees grew amazing fast and seemed to flourish. The first problem developed when the trees the height of about twelve feet. Suddenly they fell over. The scientist were shocked and couldn’t figure out the problem until they realized they had forgotten one key ingredient in their biodome—there was no wind. 

The wind is what forces trees as they grow to develop strong root systems to resist the wind pressure. Because there was no wind the trees had poorly developed roots. When they reached a certain height, they didn’t have the root system to support the weight of the tree. (You can make your own observations on that—there is a lot of truth to chew on.)

“The moment you stop loving people you should go sell cars.”

My second issue would be COMPASSION. I believe you must “guard your heart” (Prov 4:23) because it can be really easy to lose your compassion for people. Ministry is about loving people—the moment you stop loving people you should go sell cars.

If God has called you to be in ministry you need to realize three truths—you will get HURT, you will want to RUN AND HIDE, and you will want to ATTACK. 

Being hurt is a part of following Jesus. People will say rude things—sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident. As I write this article, I think of a phone call I got yesterday from a total stranger from another state. He claims to be in ministry and was watching a television program my wife appeared on to give her testimony of God’s work in her life. The man left me a lengthen message telling me I need to talk to my wife about not wearing so much make-up. He said, “her neck and hands show her true age she shouldn’t try to hide it by all that makeup.”

I have no idea why this individual would take the time to track down my personal cell phone to give me his opinion on my wife’s makeup. But in ministry that is what you are exposed to. There is always someone who thinks they have a word to correct you.

“The growth of your ministry will be determined by your pain threshold.”

Gerald Brooks taught me that 10% of your people will cause you pain. If you have a church of 100 you will have 10 painful people. If you have 400 you will have 40 painful people. The growth of your ministry will be determined by your pain threshold. Can you stay compassionate to people that hurt you, make you want to run and hide, or make you want to attack them. 

Jesus is our great example. On the cross He prayed for those who hung Him there, “Father, forgive them.” One man said the level of your love is seen in your ability to love Judas. There will be some Judas’ in your ministry—love them anyway.

Don’t get on the pity-party train—it is a dead end to disaster! Keep your heart full of compassion and tender. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see people they way God sees them. My eyes often want to hurt them back. I have had to pray harder for some than others.

My last issue is CHANGE. You have to learn to deal with the fact that one of the only things certain in life is change. I remember the old saying, “If I always do what I’ve always done I’ll always get what I’ve always gotten.” 

That is not completely true. There are somethings that I did twenty years ago that gave me great victories in ministry. Those things don’t work today. Twenty years ago, I had a robed choir, orchestra, and only preached in suit and tie. Today if I showed up in a suit and tie it must be a funeral or wedding—and some of those occasions don’t require suit and tie.

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

Years ago, we began to challenge ourselves and our staff with the question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” Churches are notorious for the old “cut and paste” for the annual calendar. We simply put on this year’s calendar what we did last year. We might add one of two new things but basically it looks like a repeat of last year. 

Energy and life come from the risk of doing something new!

I must be honest, change sucks—until it doesn’t! Nobody loves change except wet babies and some of them aren’t sure they want to be changed. It may stink but it is their mess, and they are afraid of the unknown of being stripped of what they have. 

Don’t be fooled into thinking everyone loves change—they may love the results of positive change but not the process. Also, don’t think that change equals growth—you can change without growing but you can’t grow without changing. 

As leaders we must be change agents. That means change starts with us. We must be modeling change in our own lives. We must be constantly growing and evolving into better leaders, communicators, and shepherds. We must model what it looks like to be people of change. 

Then we must learn to manage change by learning to paint clear pictures of the advantage of change. Remember that most people don’t change until they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they know how to, and see it clear enough that they want to. 

As leaders we must constantly be painting clear pictures of change that will transform us, our churches, and our communities. Don’t be that person who is always fighting change and wants to go back to singing out of the hymn books. 

When was the last time you did something for the first time?