Hope For Weary Leaders through Union with Christ
When Jeff came to me for counseling, he was at the end of his rope. He still pastored the church he had planted 15 years ago. There were many good memories and he could point to many great things God had done over the years, but recently things had become tougher than usual. He couldn’t make sense of whether the cause of his turmoil was external circumstances or the internal shift that he had been experiencing. He was more pessimistic than ever before, and the idea of spiritual movements and changing the city seemed to bring up anxiety more than excitement. He was tired and many days spent hours in his office surfing YouTube or just sitting at his desk staring out the window dreaming about how to get out.
Jeff didn’t feel qualified to do anything else but he also felt unqualified to do the only thing he knew. Jeff knew this was not a sustainable way to continue in ministry. He needed help. So what did he do? He did what he always did - he signed up for a conference, read a stack of books, and worked hard to rearrange his schedule to fit in more rest. All good things, but Jeff was still struggling and now more depressed because he was running out of options. That was when he ended up in counseling, as a last resort.
We discussed many areas of Jeff’s life in our time together and sought to make sense of his story. Jeff realized that one thing underneath his depression was a belief that if he did the right things God would bless him and rescue him from this hole. Though Jeff staunchly denied a theological prosperity gospel, he held firmly to an ‘emotional prosperity gospel.’
Unfortunately, living and ministering in this way is incredibly burdensome. No one can sustain this without impact and there comes a day when a wall is simply too high to get over with the usual means. This is a mercy. It is an opportunity. It is God’s means to “crucify our ministry” and bring us into greater awareness of our union with Him.
Through suffering and coming to the end of our rope we learn that the gospel we preach is truly the gospel we need. Many of us know this but we need to experience it. There’s no other way. This gospel is the good news that Jesus was perfect in our place. Michael P.V. Barrett describes it well, “The entire obedient life of Jesus Christ was vicarious. This simply means that He lived a substitutionary life for His people. Every moment of His perfect life—every holy thought, His baptism, His temptation, His every act of kindness, everything to His cross —was for the benefit of believers and in their place. Christ lived the righteous life that God required of man.”
“Through suffering and coming to the end of our rope we learn that the gospel we preach is truly the gospel we need. Many of us know this but we need to experience it. There’s no other way.”
Jesus truly takes the burden from our backs and frees us. When we don’t have to carry that weight any more, we are free to experience healing of our shame, trauma, anxiety, fear, and weariness.
As Jeff processed this, he slowly started to change his approach from ministering for union with Christ to ministering from union with Christ. Making this difficult shift was convicting but transformative. Counter to the quick fixes that we long for, the world offers, and Satan throws our way again and again, we can spend our life learning just how united we are to Christ. Augustine wrote, “He is nearer to us than we are to ourselves.”
The bad news is we’ll never master this or fully comprehend how united we are to Jesus. But the good news is we can stop feeling guilty and rest in the gospel - in Jesus Himself and all He is for us - again and again and again. Rest, renewal, and change come slowly through our life in Him. We know this, but need to hear it again from a thousand different angles and means.
Jason Kovacs is the Founder and Executive Director of The Gospel Care Collective, a ministry providing gospel-centered, clinically-informed counseling, consulting, and training to individuals, churches, and organizations. He has been serving in the areas of pastoral care, counseling, and orphan advocacy for over 20 years in Canada and the US. He has been married for 19 years and has 5 children.
