Be a Reservoir, Not a Canal

Confession: I often find myself working to find peace, to find purpose, to gain a sense of belonging in ministry and in life. I’ve been educated, I’ve got experience, I’ve met expectations and even exceeded some, but still there is a nagging sense of, “is it enough?” To be clear, I’m not describing a struggle from younger years in ministry, this is how I feel presently, at any given moment. It’s a fear that I’m not doing enough to be who I’m supposed to be. And I’m fairly certain, if you’re honest, you can relate.

No matter how many degrees you have, how rigorous your training, how experienced your mentor, or how strict your spiritual discipline might be; if you’re doing ministry—and you’re human—you’ve been anxious. You’re probably all too familiar with mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion.

We serve and lead others by pouring ourselves out multiple times a week on a weekly basis, and too often it's thankless labor. Moreover, you may find yourself haunted by guilt and toxic shame waiting to condemn you at the first sign of weakness. Even while reading this, some may be tempted to deny their neediness, dig their heels in, and try harder to do more for their church. Add in the complexities of navigating the chaotic world around us, our own family drama, seeking to regulate our internal turmoil, and striving to check off boxes on an ever-growing to-do list… Of course we’re exhausted, but how else is it to be done?

Surely, there's a way. Surely, Jesus meant it when He said the weary find rest in Him. There must be something to Him saying, “My yoke is easy and my burden light.” It can’t be that we’re meant to do Kingdom work feeling endlessly empty and continually anxious.

“Surely, Jesus meant it when He said the weary find rest in Him. There must be something to Him saying, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden light.’”

This tension we feel is nothing new. Consider this quote from Bernard of Clairvaux from the 12th century: “The [one] who is wise, therefore, will see his life more like a reservoir than a canal. The canal simultaneously pours out what it receives; the reservoir retains the water till it is filled, then discharges the overflow without loss to itself... Today there are many in the Church who act like canals, the reservoirs are far too rare... You too must learn to await this fullness before pouring out your gifts, do not try to be more generous than God.”

We are to be reservoirs not canals, vessels not conduit. We are meant to be, not merely do. There are a couple things to gain from this. One is beautiful and clear: we need to be both filled by and full of God before we invest in others. As His people we embody His presence in the world making His glory known. The other thing to consider is a bit more challenging to catch and nearly impossible to accept: God wants you to be fully you. Why? Just to be fully you. There isn’t a “so that…” or an “in order to…” It’s just, be.

The more we seek to find our being through our doing, the further we are from becoming who we are meant to be and we’re left empty. Instead, we are to be filled by God, and then we overflow into the world by virtue of our being. His glory is displayed, His mission fulfilled in our being. Now certainly doing is necessary, but it must flow out of our being.

“The more we seek to find our being through our doing, the further we are from becoming who we are meant to be and we’re left empty.”

In Luke 12, after telling a story illustrating the foolishness of hoarding riches, Jesus tells His disciples, “Don’t be anxious about your life.” He goes on to expound by telling them of their value to God and God’s sovereignty over all things. To paraphrase,

“Birds do their bird thing, and God provides. Flowers do their flower thing, and God provides. You are so much more valuable to God than anything else in creation, He knows your needs, and He will surely provide. So don’t worry about it. Anxiety gains you nothing. Trust God and seek His kingdom.”

Clearly, we need not anxiously toil to store up provision for ourselves, but there is also the same elusive emphasis: be who you are. Birds are birds, as they’ve been created to be. Flowers are flowers, as they’ve been created to be. We humans aren’t meant to carry everyone’s load, and we must not try to be more generous than God. We aren’t meant to conquer sin and death. We can’t. This is why we need a Savior. Surrendering to Jesus requires us to confess our constant need for Him. As we trust in Him, seek His kingdom, and rest in all He has accomplished, we discover we are more than conquerors. It’s not a result of our doing—it’s all found in our right being.

Receive all God has for you, but not just for the people you lead, receive it for yourself. You can trust “it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” You don’t have to work to earn it. Be a reservoir.

Join Kendrick for “Becoming an Unanxious Leader”, a five-week Learning Community that begins Thursday, February 10th at 2:00p ET. Kendrick and Amelia Banks will lead church leaders through self-reflection and examination, considering the systems we build and spaces we create out of our anxiety. The aim is to discover a pathway to freedom from the anxiety and shame that create toxic cultures.